2013 and this time of year

Writer’s note: I’m a little depressed, hence the mood at the beginning here… But please read all the way through, as the mood will change…  🙂

Happy Christmas Eve dear readers… Well, maybe not…   I’ve grown to dislike this time of year… Combine that with the year I’ve had, and it’s hard to keep the depression at bay… I’ll be so glad when the holidays are over, to be honest… Being single during the holidays sucks… Everyone talks about being with friends and family, feeling loved, and everyone being so much nicer than other times of the year… I fail to see it… And it’s not that I don’t try to see it: I do try… But I’ve not been invited to a holiday party since I was still married, ironically enough… (That’s 9 years ago, folks)  I’ve not been invited to share the holiday with anyone, in at least 3 years… And being the only single person in my circle of friends, it drives the point home even more at this time of year…

I try to avoid the usual holiday claptraps, but no matter where you go, it’s there… Just yesterday I had to run some errands in town… One of them was to run to Walgreens for a prescription… (An errand that seems never-ending these days…)  I love Walgreens because it’s like a toy store for adults!  There’s always something in there that I’ve never seen before!  As I drove there, I thought to myself “You know, you have an extra $10 in your account, let’s look for something new and special to buy to cheer us up…”  Excited by that thought, I sat a little taller in the driver’s seat… But as  I got closer to the store, my brain started processing what all I needed to purchase to make it to the next paycheck… As I went through my bank account in my head, I realized that every dollar I had needed to go to either prescriptions, probiotics, utility bills, or food to last through to the next paycheck….  Hear that whooshing sound?  That was the sound of good cheer flying right out the driver’s side window…  And again, the depression threatened to take over… I did allow myself to walk through the store and browse, looking for interesting items, but the thought never left me that I needed to do what I came there for, and then leave…

OH and let’s not even TALK about the guy in the red Mustang that came within INCHES of hitting me!!!  He/She pulled out to turn right on red without stopping OR looking, I clearly had a green light and if there’d been anyone in the lane to my left, we all would have found ourselves meeting a cop and a claims adjuster…. Whew!!  But I’m betting he/she did some damage to their tires or alignment as they drove up and over a curb to avoid hitting me once they heard my horn and saw my big black grill coming at them!!  Talk about jump starting your heart!  But I digress…

As I think back over the last 12 months, I think about what has gone on, the amount of money spent on my medical items, and the difference between where I was a year ago and where I am now…  Financially, I’m lost… My health insurance premiums will be going up $103 a month, starting in a week… Because of this, I’ve had to shut down all of my “fun” services like Netflix, Audible.com, etc… I also had to shut down my “I’ve fallen and can’t get up” 911 service… I’m also selling my motorcycle, but having a hard time with that one… (Wrong time of the year for it, to be honest…)  And if I total up all of the money I’ve spent this year for prescriptions, it breaks my heart…  I’ll be totaling it all up as I prepare to do my taxes in a few weeks… And to that end, I started putting all of my receipts together, writing down all of the appointments I had so I can figure out the mileage to each, and getting my payments together so I can hopefully use the medical tax break this year… Doing those simple deeds, however, brings home how much money and time was spent being ill this year… I’m hoping that now that trend will be finally on the positive side for the new year, but my hope is tenuous…

It’s getting harder to find joy in the things that I used to… I used to enjoy food a great deal… But now, with all of the restrictions and things I have to look out for, that joy is gone for me… Watching TV can be quite a pain too… Here’s an experiment for you… Watch one hour of prime time TV and count the number of commercials you see for food and/or restaurants… And of course many of the places that are advertising are places that I wouldn’t be able to go, even if I had the money… I can’t enjoy my online movies, because those cost money, hence they’ve been discontinued for me… I can’t travel, gas is too expensive… Even reading is getting harder for me… Because of my condition and the meds that I’m on, my vision isn’t as good as it used to be, and I can’t afford new glasses…

I rely heavily on my old laptop, and I pray that it lasts for a while longer… It’s over 7 years old and there’s no way I can afford a new one… So I clean it, defrag it and just talk to it nicely in the hopes that it’ll hang on… I have three Cats, one of whom is currently under the care of the local Vet… Her care this year has just reached the $1,000 mark… My truck insurance just went up thanks to the State of South Carolina changing some laws and forcing the companies to charge us more…  Also found out last week that two of my regular medications will be going up… Granted, not much, but total that up with everything else and you can begin to understand where I’m at financially and mentally…

So, Stormy, why not get a 2nd job?  Because with my health, it’s hard to know when I’ll be able to work and when I won’t… Why not apply for a new job?  Did that and got turned down… My job is very focused and specific and there aren’t many of those jobs out there to begin with… But I am looking…

Now before anyone gets the idea that I’m ready to walk off a bridge somewhere, it’s not all bad here at the abode… I have friends… Some amazing friends…  They’re going through some tough times too, hence the reason I’m trying not to bug them right now… But I know they’re there, and they show me their Angel’s wings from time to time and remind me of what I DO have… I also have some amazing parents… And even though I can’t afford to go see them, they too remind me of their love for me… These two groups humble me more than they can ever know…

I also have a roof over my head, there’s food in the pantry, gas in my truck’s tank, lights coming from my lamps, and water through my pipes… My heater is so old that I give up a small “thanks” every time I hear it come on… But it’s on, and I’m heated decently… (I keep the heat at 63 in order to keep that electric bill down, but by gosh, I’ve got heat!  LOL)  I’m employed and have good health insurance… I’m not wholly unhappy about the things I’ve had to lose this year, because it means that I at least HAD them to lose!  Many others don’t… I try to donate when and where I can, because again there are too many others out there who have significantly less than I do…

So as this lousy year ends next week, I won’t be sad to see it go… I will welcome 2014 with a smile and a hopeful thought that it’ll be so much better than it’s dying sibling… Here’s to the new year… To better health… To lower bills…  To brighter days… To new friendships… And who knows?  Maybe even a new love?  Well, one can dream…  *smile*  I wish you and yours a nice holiday and bright new year!!

Better Days and taking it slow…

Well, Sweet Readers, I’ve been quite neglectful in updating my blog… I do apologize, but it comes from feeling better and being able to finally have some form of a “normal” life… Let me update on you on what I’ve been doing lately…

My system is not in remission yet, but I can see it on the horizon!  The last appointment I had with my GI, found me tapering off the pred, starting the 6MP again, and taking the last of my anti-biotics… I’ve also increased my probiotics on my own, to see if it would help…  The probiotics are a little pricey, but what you find is, it’s worth it to live a life… I’m starting the 2nd week of my 30MG of pred, and the 30MGs is always the worst for me… This one’s not been too bad, since I now know what to expect… But I’ll be glad to step down to 20…

I’ve also started eating regular food again, although I’ve not stepped yet to the one thing I really miss: salads… I hope to do that in the next week or two… But I’ve found so many new recipes in the meantime, that I’m anxious to try them… I found a company that is supposed to known for making mustard that doesn’t use wheat vinegar!  I bought a bottle yesterday and hope to try it soon… I miss that condiment so much!  Deviled eggs and tuna salad are two things that I dearly miss and hope this new mustard will help with… I’ve also got a batch of home made mustard, made by a very good friend of mine, that I can’t wait try as well!  Imagine going from not being able to eat mustard, to having two choices to choose from!!  What a lucky person I am!

What I still lack right now is energy… I’m trying to rebuild that slowly, but it’s hard!  Especially with it being so cold outside… Who wants to walk outside in 25 degree temps?  LOL  But it’s just so nice to be able at least “sorta” know how your day is going to go… I still take a step back once in a while.. I had a step back about a week ago, when I didn’t pay attention to my body… I thought I could handle what it was telling me, and put myself in a situation where I had no “out”… And I paid for it… Lesson learned and backpack refilled… BUT it’s ok… I lived through it and started anew the next day… And that, sweet readers, is what it’s all about… Starting a new day…

Financially, however, I’m taking a dive… Starting January 1st, my health insurance premiums will be going up by $100 a month… It’s a huge hit to my paycheck, to be sure… So I’m selling the motorcycle, have cut down on many of my small services, and have asked friends to understand that I can’t spend money like I have in the past… It sucks, but it’s all part of what we have to do… I’m lucky enough that I have things to give up in order to make ends meet… There are so many other folks who have already given up so much, and can’t cut any more…  So I cut, and look for other ways to try and help myself financially.. In the meantime I find ways to give to others because gosh knows others have it worse than I do… I’m lucky.. I have a home, a pantry of food, fuzzies, a truck, a job, health insurance and more important than anything else (almost), friends… *smile*

So on we go, Readers!  Onward, upward, vertical and ventilating!  LOL  I hope your Thanksgiving was good and filled with food, friends and family…

Some helpful hints and the storm clouds….

This will be a two-fold post for us today, folks… First, some helpful hints for those who are new to UC… I read somewhere that sleeping on your left side was not the greatest for your heart and actually encouraged colon movement… In experimenting, I found that the latter was definitely true… Currently I tend to have at least one episode a night that can last for 30 minutes to an hour… Once it begins to die down, I’ve found that if I lay back down on my right side, it will allow me to get back to sleep without another episode… If I lay on my left side, however, I will be back up again within about 10 minutes… A professional experiment?  No, but one that worked for me…

Another tidbit, if you’re in an episode, sitting up tends to slow things down… It won’t stop it… But if you’re in a particularly bad bout, trying sitting somewhere with your feet up… It will at least give you some temporary relief and allow a small respite… At night, when I know that my episode has started, instead of getting back into bed, I’ll grab my smartphone, sit in my office chair with my feet up and spend the rest of the episode that way… It makes me more comfortable and seems to ease the discomfort…

And yet, another lesson that I had forgotten but was taught again yesterday… Yes, I am feeling better and more in control…  But NEVER doubt what your body says… I ended up almost having a small accident yesterday because I felt so good that I felt I had time… Thank goodness for my running skills and being the best at the “50 yard butt clench dash” because otherwise I wouldn’t have made it… Lesson?  Don’t get cocky with what your body feels!  LOL

Storm Clouds… Yes, there are a few on the horizon… Thanks to a good friend of mine at work, I discovered that my health insurance premiums were going up $101 a month, starting January 1st… For someone who already has no money in her savings and lives from pay check to pay check literally, this was quite a shock… Instead of getting angry, I spent an hour with another friend (who is MUCH smarter in this area than I) looking over my options and figuring out if I needed to change my health insurance plan… As it turns out, I’m better off staying where I am… But it requires some changes… So, good byes were said to Netflix, my audio book club, and a few other things that I normally subscribe to… I also decided to put my motorcycle up for sale… I hate to do it, as it is such a part of who I am… But when you’re looking at the possibility of not being able to eat or pay your electric bill, things have to go…  My heater was already set to 63, which is where I had it last year, so that I can try and keep my electric bill to a minimum… I checked my cable, DISH, and phone bills for any other areas I could cut funds… I’ve got a plan in place to see about changing how I pay for one of my insurance policies to try and put money back in my pocket, instead of it flying out the door…

Again, this could be an area where I could feel sorry for myself… But as I told my friend, Karen, at least I have those areas to cut and still have a home, food, transportation and care for my fuzzies… Many folks don’t have that flexibility… The upcoming holidays will once again be lean, and probably leaner than they already were in previous years… But again, it’s all about choices… And learning to live with UC, those choices must come first… You learn to lean, bend and go with what you can, or you get run over… So lean I will… Lean, I must… And go I will…

More lessons learned about GIs and UC

Good day Sweet Readers!  I can hardly believe that it’s November already!  When you’re ill with something that takes up almost every minute of every day, it seems the days last forever… But then one day you look back and realize that the summer is gone, and we’re within sight of the winter days… (As I sit here, I’m wearing my favorite “Wicked” hoodie and white/purple footies)  This particular flare started on July 20th and continues to haunt my days here on November 3rd…  3.5 months in and I’m back at square one… This might be a moment to despair, or to be glum… But, yet again, it’s what I’ve learned that keeps me looking forward…

Two Mondays ago, I called my GI and explained that I was once again nowhere with my recovery… I wasn’t able to make it to work; was once again not eating or sleeping and something needed to change… He had me come in the next morning, put me back on prednisone and decided that my 6MP meds weren’t working… He wanted a sample and bloodwork from me, and talked about putting me on Humira… Great, a self-injectable drug… JUST what this needle-phobic gal needs… I once told my then spouse that if I ever became a diabetic, he better learn how to run and inject at the same time because it was the only way I was going to get my insulin… Now my worst nightmare was staring me in the face…  My GI started me on 40 MG of pred, and had me stay home for the week…

I knew by Thursday that something still wasn’t right… Friday morning brought me to a low point… I was dizzy, light headed, the episodes were every 15 to 20 minutes, but my heart-rate was right at 60 which is normal for me… So I knew two things… This was NOT heart related, and it had everything to do with the UC… I contacted my friend, Karen, asking for advice… In talking with her I realized a couple of other things… I had allowed myself to become dehydrated and I wasn’t taking enough pred… I started drinking water, took another 20 MG of pred and within 2 hours felt right as rain… Not drinking enough water is a fault of mine and one I am working on… By this time I had contacted my GI and advised what I’d done… Long story short, they did NOT appreciate me taking more pred without their permission… But as it turns out, there wasn’t anything they could do about it, AND I was right to do so…

So what are my lessons so far?  1) DRINK!!!  I have to keep up on the water… It’s hard sometimes, especially when I get my head into work… But I have to… 2) I need to recognize that no one knows my body like me… If I feel like something isn’t working, do something about it or say so… Another hard lesson because it’s drilled into our heads that the Almighty Doctor knows us… They don’t… They learn, yes… But WE are the owners of these shells and we have to learn to listen to them…  And here comes the next set of lessons…

I turned in the sample and bloodwork on that Friday and waited for the results on Monday… I was also waiting for the scolding about upping my pred, but just as Karen said, it never came… When the results came in Monday, it showed that the original issue of C-Diff had never been resolved… I was still positive for it!!  So, lesson #3) after my round of antibiotics for C-diff, demand a retest!!  Had I been retested back in August, after the first round of meds, we might have found then that the whole core of this issue was not resolved… So I’m now on Vancomycin, 4X a day, for 14 days… According to a drug control agent who works for my Gov’t Agency, that is a very strong drug and not one pulled out by Doctor’s lightly… What I’m thankful for is that I don’t seem to have any side affects from it… Not like I did with the first two sets of drugs they gave me…  I will demand a retest after this round of meds is over… Before I go any further, I want to make sure that the C-diff is gone!  I can’t begin a recovery, if the illness is not dealt with first…

I have an appointment with my GI on Monday and my next step will be to back away from the Humira… He assumed that the 6MP wasn’t working because the C-diff was not dealt with… How could it?  So I’m going to talk to him about giving the 6MP another try, once the C-diff is gone… One reason is because it was working fine until the C-diff, why give up on it?  The other reason?  Money… The 6MP is $20 a month… I don’t know how much the Humira is yet, but the fact that there is an automatic enrollment into a Co-Pay assistance plan when you’re given the prescription ought to tell you something about it… So Lesson 4)?  Don’t be afraid to speak up… If there’s no reason to move to a more expensive drug, say so!  Or at least ask for an explanation… That’s your right!

So as I enter my 2nd week of my antibiotic treatment, I look forward to finally…well… moving forward!!  I’ve been able to eat again, go to work and actually run errands!  I ran several Friday afternoon and felt such a feeling of accomplishment!  I feel better than I have in weeks, have a bit more optimism now and want that to continue…  There are some storm clouds on the horizon and I’ll deal with that in my next blog… But for now, my hoodie, footies and I are warm, out of pain, comfortable and enjoying some peace… And after all, is that what life is about??

And the fun continues

Hello Dear Readers and welcome to the next chapter of this wonderful wacky world of UC!  I’ve been away for a bit and after reading you’ll understand why…I believe in one of my previous posts, I mentioned that my latest flare started on the 20th of July… We thought we had it under control and the Doc had me slowly tapering off the prednisone… Ok, nothing new, I’ve done this before… I came off the pred two Saturday’s ago and I thought all would be well… Bright sunshine… Good lookin’ people having picnics… Children running through the park… You get the scene…  *smile*

Well the good lookin’ people never showed up, it rained on the picnic and the kids were scared off by a clown… In other words, I started going downhill almost immediately… I stopped eating again, I couldn’t leave the house, I wasn’t sleeping, etc… The episodes were back, the pain from the spasms were back, and I was almost back to the point where I was last year before I was even diagnosed… I kept calling into my GI’s office, asking for help, but my GI was out of town and the attending GI wasn’t a great deal of help… I did call and get an appointment with my guy, but it wasn’t for another 10 days… I finally decided I couldn’t wait any longer.. I called in and asked for an earlier appointment and explained why…

Lo and behold, they got me in the next morning and I finally got to see my GI… His diagnosis?  My meds aren’t working… (I could have told him that…)  Soooo they’ve decided to put me back on Pred (whoopee), and this Friday, I get to learn how to inject myself with meds… Those of you who know me are right now saying to yourself “Whooooaaa wait… She’s got to inject herSELF??  This same woman who has to be pushed to the front of the line to get her flu shot??”   It’s true, dear friends… They’re putting me on a new med and I have to inject it every other week… I can’t WAIT for that lovely nightmare…

Let me add this here… I’ve commented before on how you lose your modestly and humility upon learning that you have this condition… Well I lost what little I had, yesterday… While I was in there, the Doc decided to do a quick, wait for it, rectal exam!  *groan*  Again, no dinner, no flowers, nothing… As one of my friends commented, the least he could have done was blow in my ear!!!  Nope, got none of that… All I got was “Roll over”… Hmmmm Kind of like being married, isn’t it?!  *grin*

So a new phase of meds begins for me and I’m hoping this will finally put me back on my feet and less on my loo… I’m tired of being homebound although my Cats love it… I’m tired of not being able to run errands, and to visit with friends and in general be able to just “live”… I’ll let you know how the injection goes on Friday… For those who are curious, it’s Humira that I’ll be taking… Cross your fingers and I’ll let you know…

Something happens along the way of recovery…

You don’t expect it, and many times you don’t notice it… Especially if you live alone… This latest and greatest flare started the July 20th… I’m still trying to get my body back to some form of “normal”, whatever that is… Normal left sometime last year and I’ve not see him back in town yet… BUT I had reached a point, prior to this flare, where I could see his house and I was happy with that…

But this particular flare, or episode, just doesn’t seem to want to return to see normal’s house… And so, little by little, day by day, weekend by weekend, I become a recluse… I did notice it some time ago, but didn’t know what to do to change it… It kind of just snuck up on me… Because the length of my normal morning time routine seems to change day by day, by the time I felt it was “safe” to leave the house on a Saturday or Sunday, it was almost Noon and not worth the squeeze, ya know?  So I might lay out my clothes, make my shopping list, and decide the quickest routes to where I needed to go… (Notice I said “needed” and not “wanted”…)  But then, as the morning slipped by, I made more and more rationalizations as to why I didn’t need to go out…  And before I knew it, I’d talked myself out of going… Clothes go back in the closest and I had figured out what meals I could make, with what I had in the house…  And with no one expecting me, it helped make it even easier…

The next step was to do the food shopping on Friday, on my way home from work… THAT way, I don’t have to step outside my house from Friday afternoon, to Monday morning… And that’s where I’m at… Until this weekend, it’d been 3 weekends since I’d stepped outside my house… It’s hard to explain, but it’s like a rash that you can almost feel moving up your legs… I can feel the “desire” to become a complete introvert… Could it be depression?  I suppose so… I’d never experienced depression until 2 Christmases ago… I didn’t even KNOW I was in a depression until I started coming out of it… I just knew that I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone and was perfectly happy with my computer, Cats and TV… Alone…

I know it’s the disease that’s pushing this… I’m naturally a very humourous person, much to the irritation and chagrin of my friends… And I loathe being UNhappy… But there comes a point where it’s comfortable… It’s known… I know the people here and they offer me cookies… (Gluten free, of course…)  So what changed for this weekend?  Because I can feel it happening, and I hate it… I don’t like bothering my friends on the weekend… They have their lives… They’re all married or partnered and they have lives… Active lives… And I’m not about to change that… Right now, half of the friends I might call on are out of town… The other half lead very busy weekends and I appreciate and respect that…

A group that I’m associated with was having an event this weekend… Low key, I could come and go as I pleased.. $10 was all it would cost… So I decided to go… It didn’t start until 12, but the first real event didn’t start until 1:30… Perfect… I had my shower, brushed my teeth, did all of my “leaving the house” preparations and was ready by 10… But then, the brain started… “Hey, you know it’s an hour drive to this thing, right?  Alot can happen in that hour… And it’s comfortable here… Look, Sophie wants you to pet her… And Squirt’s looking for your lap… OH and American Ninja Warriors is on!  We need to catch up… OH and you haven’t even THOUGHT about what you’re going to wear… Oh and is that some grumbling I hear down in your belly?  Could it be another attack?  HA HA that’s it… We’re not going, I can see it… And you only have three things on your shopping list… You can get those on Monday…”   blah blah blah on it went… And I almost listened…

I was pissed by 12:30… I could feel my resolve fading… So I got up, put on clothes (had no idea WHAT I’d put on until I got there), grabbed the keys, made a SHORT run to the loo and ran for the door… I refused to let myself think until I got about halfway there… I turned on Pandora to the Comedy channel and turned it up loud!!  And, as always happens, once I got there, I was glad I was there… I was welcomed, and got to talk to folks… Even met a couple who I’d never seen before… I was talking to one of the folks I know, and he is a real dear… I’d told him of my troubles of trying to get out of the house and he said to call him and we’d do dinner once a week or so… Then maybe a movie on the weekend.. But he said something else that made me sad, although I didn’t show it to him… He mentioned that because he was single, he had time… Yea… Um… I’m single… I have time… That’s the problem… He doesn’t know how that comment made me feel… And I wouldn’t tell him… He thought he was being nice, and I appreciate his effort… I also know that once he’s no longer “single” that outlet would disappear… So I won’t rely on it… I’ll call on him from time to time, but won’t put all of those eggs in that basket…

So I continue down this rather annoying path to see what I can do to resolve it… What can I find that will motivate me to want to leave the house for something fun…  Do I have it in me to find those motivations?  Or will I continue to allow my illness to drag me down into the abyss… (And wouldn’t it be nice if Ed Harris was down in my particular Abyss?  But I know he’s not…)  In the words of Dory “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming”…

Another plan destroyed?! What’s up with that?

Evening Gentle Readers!  Today’s post is going to talk about what happens when your body decides something that is directly contrary to what your mind had planned…

I had plans today… First time in weeks I had some plans for something OTHER than sleep, rest, and work… I’d even posted it on Facebook that I had plans!  I didn’t sleep well last night, BUT I did what I needed to this a.m. and started getting ready to leave… Meanwhile, my body is sending me not-so-subtle signals… I was trying desperately to ignore them…  Maybe if I do this, it’ll settle things down… Maybe if I do that, it’ll turn this around… *Sigh*  All to no avail…

What went wrong?  Easy… I let down my guard… Because this last flare dealt with C-diff and NOT just the UC, it’s taking longer for my system to become accustomed to my “regular” foods… I’m also stepping down my prednisone which has been sending me into tail-spins all week… I’m great at the higher levels of pred, and the bottom levels I’m good at as well… But the 30 mg level kicks my tail EVERY time… And this week was no exception… So this morning I stayed at the 30 (will go to 20 tomorrow) and tried what I could to stem the tide of what was going on… All, again, to no avail… I finally texted a friend that I was supposed to meet and told him that I couldn’t make it… I was so disappointed because it was the first thing I’d been looking forward to in weeks!!

I still needed to run into town so I prepared myself as best I could and hit the road… I ran by work to pick up papers that I can work on from home, SHOULD I need to stay home Monday… Ran by Whole Foods (to restock the kefir), then Food Lion and then home… And for those who are wondering, yup, I hit the loo in…every…location… *Sigh*  Frustration abounds… Sooooo what do I do about it… You take it for what it is, a small step back, and you roll with it…

For instance, another friend of mine texted me to say that he’d run into my first friend and had heard that I hadn’t been able to make it out… I told him that I’d needed to listen to my body unfortunately… He responded back with “On one hand I’m glad you’re listening to your body, but on the other hand sorry it’s being so mouthy lately”   I responded back with “Actually it’s being rather anal! LOL”   He told me I was bad; which he’s known for about a decade now… *grin*  I told him that you HAVE to take this with humor…  Otherwise the disease wins… And it’s true!  You have to find the ways to make this whole experience palatable for you…  JUST for you…

So while my frustration got to me this a.m. because my body didn’t want to cooperate, I had to turn that around to something humorous in order to find the positive path again… So this afternoon, I’ve been very careful about what I’m eating, I will have my kefir shake before bed and I’ll start over again tomorrow… I’ve missed out on a yearly event that I was truly looking forward to, BUT it’ll come around again next year… Tomorrow’s another day, another opportunity to try again… And isn’t that what “tomorrow” is all about?  Another chance?